Life has been a funny journey for me, I have had to deal with an awful lot in it, I feel I probably had to deal with a lot more in my life the most people have. I do feel a bit beaten down by things that time, and when I look around all my friends who are happily settled in marriages, relationships, seemingly having fun, I look at my own life and I get quite upset.
But then I suppose that’s the thing, you can’t see what is beneath the surface. Although people can look happy, and say they are happy, the truth is that underneath they could be really miserable. I know that is the case for me. When I was married I was unhappy for two or three years at the end. I would convince myself I was happy, I would tell my wife I was happy and my friends would also think I was happy.
It also turned out that my wife wasn’t happy either, so we were both lying to each other and ourselves. But then we had younger children and I think we wanted to both protect them and maybe just get through their childhoods in one piece.
Looking back, what we were actually doing was delivering them an unhappy childhood because of the way we were together, I think they are happier now although it took a couple years to get over the shock.
In my professional life I negotiate for my company. I’m very good at it and I’m very knowledgeable about what we do as a company and can do for other companies. It takes me around the country, and occasionally around the world. Thankfully I’ve never had to negotiate in a foreign language, but this is now about to change, because I have two negotiate with a Japanese company. This means that although they can speak a bit of English, I simply cannot comprehend any of what is coming back my way, so I’m looking at options on that and I will speak about that soon.
Personally, I like to play sports, I try to play golf and I can and that is a great way of networking with the people I am negotiating with as well. But it does often feel like even my hobbies and leisure time are part of my company life.